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http://www.familybydesignadoption.com/blog/assets/0_0_0_0_250_250_library_48945.jpg?u=634671877411220399 Why I want to adopt again!
This blog was provided by our guest blogger Karla Marie Williams (Family by Design)

 

I simply adore kids. When a child joins a family whether by birth or adoption, I get completely mushy! There is just something special that every child brings to a family. Every time I find out a friend is expecting I go nuts. I start weeks, sometimes months in advance collecting baskets of baby stuff for the shower. I always pride myself on finding the most useful and neat gifts I can find for the mom-to-be.

 

A few years ago, I went to a shower for one of my friends who was expecting. I love seeing all the booties, onesies and toys when it is time to open the gifts. “OPEN OPEN OPEN” , I thought as she got closer to opening my gift. I bought her all the things I knew most people would never think of, but all mom’s need at some point. Like the mosquito netting for the stroller, the fashionable breast feeding coverlet, shopping cart covers and purse/bag holders for the stroller. JACK POT! She loved the gifts. After opening the gifts all the moms gathered around and talked about their labor stories, pregnancy woes and kid’s birth weights. Of course, because all my kids were adopted, I did not have much to contribute to this conversation. No labor stories, not sure how much they weighed, no hemmoroids or heart burn for me. Soon the conversation turned to how many children you want and if everyone was DONE. This was my chance to talk. ” I want more”, I shouted in confidence. “I’m afraid you will never be done”, said one friend. “You are gong to adopt an army”, said another. WAIT……..I only have 3 kids. Why is it wrong for me to want more?

 

When we started dating, my husband and I had dreams and goals for a BIG future together. One of the things that attracted us to each other was that we both wanted 6 children. Coming from a young couple just starting out, we were giddy, in love and hopeful. 8 years and 4 miscarriages later (7 losses to date) our goals of a big family were shot down a bit. At that point we just wanted a child.

 

We were in an environment where the people around us as well as our selves were very career driven. One or two children was just enough to experience parenthood but not too much to interrupt my plans…this was the common thought pattern. We adopted 3 children all at once. Hey, we had waited so long…why not just bring it on? We were in parental heaven. Of course it was not always easy, but rewarding.

 

So when I began to talk about adopting more children, I was met with questions of finances, time, my goals and dreams at risk and more. We don’t view parenthood as something that gets in the way. From the beginning of our marriage we wanted a house full of giggles and wiggles and after all the loss we have endured we finally got our drive back to pursue that very dream.

 

Our vision for our family is simply that. OUR VISION! We are willing to take on the task of nurturing, loving, raising and home schooling more children. No one else is responsible for them. This is our family. This is our dream. Yes, we want to adopt again. We are in the midst of planning right now. It is not as if I am coming up pregnant every year with no way to raise or support my children. Adoption is a calculated, planned out and intentional parenting choice. Rest assured, we have thought through the process and YES, we want to adopt again!
 
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Post provided by adopt2Connect guest blogger Christy Belleau.

Domestic newborn adoption, adoption via foster care, international adoption and then all of these:
same race, transracially or with special needs.

Deciding how to adopt is personal. As you look into various options and talk to your social worker you
will begin to get a feeling for what feels right for you. You should consider cost of course. You should
speak to other adoptive parents. You should consider your lifestyle, what you are able and willing to
deal with, and what you feel you can’t. You need to be brutally honest with yourself because a child’s
life is riding on your decision. And you need to look at how successful you are likely to be with each
adoption option if you want to minimize your frustration and your wait.

I considered most options, and there were times when I felt like a horrible person for deciding some
situations would not be right for me. God bless my social worker who said to me “If it feels like too
much of a stretch for you, then it is most likely not the right decision for you or the child. You should not
go into a situation because of your empathy for the child, or because taking this route will make you a
parent more quickly. You should wait for a situation to feel comfortable to you and one in which you
feel you are a good fit for the child”. And I knew she was right.

I was older, single and I didn’t want to wait more than a year or so. While I felt I could love any child, I
wanted to consider where I lived, how family might react and what I was really capable of handling on
my own. After researching the options, and being really honest with myself I came to the realization
that adoption from Russia was the option that felt like the best fit for me. So I decided 0-18 months old,
as healthy as possible, and a girl. Then I started looking at international agencies.

It was a bit hard as I waited when adoptive parents in my group came in with brand new babies with
downy little heads adopted domestically, transracially and not. No multiple trips, no visas, no apostilled
documents. Hard when someone who selected the same international agency at the same time I did
received a referral before me; especially since I had changed agencies because the new one seemed to
move more quickly and offer younger children. Hard when a darling little girl with CP was presented to
me at the age of 4 by my social worker who’d been contacted by an agency working to find her a home
before she aged out of her current one.

This child was real, and she needed a home. This is when you ask your heart to take a back seat and you
examine the reality. She needed a walker and my house had steps going into both doors, 2 sets of stairs
inside and I had cats and dogs running around. She would need a lot of PT and I worked full time, how
could I make that work? And she was 4, with other health problems. Realistically I was not the best
mama for her, no matter how much I wanted to be.

So for me, what was right about my choice? No wait for parental rights to be terminated, that was done
before I saw her face. No mind changing after birth. No returning to the family of origin to preserve
that relationship, a very small chance of losing any expenses. A predictable wait, one year from the time
my paperwork went to Russia to coming home with my one year old. I found my comfort zone, and I
was successful, but getting to the point of knowing what was right took me about two years and lots of
research and talking. My advice is to take your time, do your research, find your comfort zone and then
jump in with both feet!

 
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Coming soon just in time for Mother’s Day!  The first contest for adopt2Connect.  We’re narrowing down the rules and requirements and we are still open to additional ideas up until 4/30 so post them here.  You will be eligible to enter as long as you are a member of adopt2Connect.

 
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Please take a look at the below article in this months Adoption Today magazine. It was written by one of our Co-Founders Nancy Baker.

http://www.adopt2connect.com/articles/at1.pdf

If you have not already signed up for Adoption Today we highly recommend it. Please visit there web site located at http://www.adoptinfo.net/, or visit https://www.facebook.com/pages/Adoption-Today/109668305724781?ref=tn_tnmn

Mar 072012
 
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We are working hard on producing new tutorial videos that will cover the new upcoming functionality to the site.  We do have some tutorial videos located   HERE.  If you have any suggestions or videos that you would like to see please email us at admin@adopt2connect.com.  We look forward to hearing from you.